TO-DO's

My To-Do list continues to grow and grow and grow.....

HELP!!!!!

First..it's my own fault I take on every project handed to me...why? because it's a security...a just in case...next month I may not have those projects to help with bills...or it could give me extra $ to help with family stuff...there's always a reason.

But for some reason...and I know it's God...things have gone completely nuts in the past few weeks.  Work keeps comming in.  I'm finishing up alterations that have been consistent.  I got an e-mail for a fashion show in Aug that I didn't know I was doing which is funny but not funny at the same time I am now creating 15-25 looks...in about a month in a half ....eek.  I've got two weddings...one wedding dress and the other has 18 bridesmaids dresses...(yes re-read that last sentence...the number is NOT a typo)...and then there is Girlie Goodness at the end of July and again in Oct for our first craft show.....to top it off...I still have my mommy duties take care of the three babies...keep them happy and having fun...clean the house....try to remember lunch and dinner..mark off our summer list of things to do....

That's just for now...and that doesn't include my personal to-do's that I want to do...like make new pillows for our living room couch, or McKenzie's new curtains, or the new curtains for the Kitchen...I'll just stop...my head is spinning.

SO...so much has happened since my last post Alex is now five months and rolling over front to back and almost back to front. LOVE HIM!!!

Tyler is on his way to being THREE next Monday on the 4th of July...LOVE HIM!!! the shirt says it all :)

And...McKenzie has a Chore Chart!  We have been battling this for WAY to long!  I ask her to clean her room or fold her clothes repeatedly has become annoying and I'm sounding like a broken record so...yesterday we sat down and wrote out her chores she has 6 daily chores on of them being something that she likes to do "READ" for 30 min.  I have it up in the kitchen and she has to mark off each task as she completes it.  At the end of the day she gets money and at the end of the week she will tithe 10% for church.  I was shocked yesterday to see her so eager to finish her chores and mark them off each time.  It's funny how $ can change so much.  BUT at the same time McKenzie has some BAD habits that we are trying like crazy to break...so while she is earning money...if I catch her doing one of her BAD habits she has to pay me.  I don't keep the money I put it in a coffee cup above the sink she'll get it back when those habits stop! But I still LOVE her!!!

I have so much to blog about...but finding the time to do it is another thing.  I'm doing it in the morning right now..seems to be working ok before the day gets rolling...we'll give that a try maybe I'll get to daily posting...maybe :)
XOXO Suzanne

In a RUT!!!!

But I am determined to get out
somehow....
I've been carrying this weight on my shoulders for about six years now maybe a little longer.  It's concerning our other house...and I wont go into details.
I think however that we are almost done with this situation.
The process has been long, hard, stressful, and given me a since of anger that I have never had before...
and I don't know how to handle it.
I've been burned...we've been burned because we tried to help.  I want to scream that "ITS NOT FAIR" but life isn't fair God didn't promise fair.  He did promise to stay by our sides and get us through times like these.
This situation has affected everything for me and I don't like it...I want it to be done.
I'm ready to walk away and try to forgive...but I can't forget...I won't.
I want to create again with a since of carefree freedom...without worries
And I will starting today!
I am taking a deep breath...knowing that God will take care of this, I know that he will comfort my heart in this time and sooth this anger that I hold.
I am stronger because of this...we are stronger because of this.  I am thankful for that.
I truly feel that my husband and I could get through anything that you put in front of us...we've already been through so much.
I LOVE HIM!!!!
I am looking forward to fathers day...I'm taking the kids shopping!  I can't wait to see what they pick out they are so much fun and I LOVE THEM!!!!
Sorry for my pity party..I'm done...I have to be...I don't like where this situation have taken me.
I am going to have a good day today!
I am going to get things done!
I'm going to start with making coffee...then maybe I'll have the energy to get the ball rolling :)
XOXO Suzanne

HELP JOPLIN MO!!!!

The tornado's in the Midwest have been nothing but flat out scary!!!
I remember when we use to here the sirens go off and we would casually gather and walk down the stairs.
Not anymore...
Now I feel more like a drill Sergeant yelling GO GO GO...GET DOWN STAIRS NOW!!!!

Joplin MO was hit hard last Sunday May 22.  I have a friend down there from high school. Thankfully she and her family are ok and so is their home.  But others weren't so lucky.

The stories are giving me nightmares and God has made my heart restless.  I need to help in anyway that I can. 

So we are offering our Criss Cross Tank at WHOLESALE COST via our ETSY shop.  50% of the proceeds will go to Joplin, all we keep is the cost for fabric everything else is donated.

ETSY SHOP

It can be worn paired back with another tank if you are not comfortable showing your bare back.

We will be doing this for two weeks or until supplies run out which ever comes first. 

HELP US HELP THEM!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!

XOXO Suzanne



4 Months and Growing Pains!!!!

My littlest Alexander just turned four months yesterday without my permission :(...I can't believe that time has passed by so fast.  He's getting so big and is so stinking cute!!!! I think that I finally got one that looks a little like me...they all look like their dad...and that's not a bad thing ;)

McKenzie keeps complaining a lot lately about her feet hurting, her back hurting...and so on.  I have a heat pack that she keeps stealing so I made her one of her own I will be putting these in my ETSY shop and they will be available for Girlie Goodness.  These are our aches and pains packs...perfect for those growing kiddos heat up for 1-2 min in the microwave.  Filled with natural grains and outer shell is removable for washing if needed.

Owls for girls 

Astronauts and Aliens for Boys

XOXO Suzanne

What a day!

I feel HORRIBLE!!!

It's allergies..but it sucks big time.
Headache, runny nose, cough, itchy throat, I CAN"T BREATHE!!!

It's because of the cottonwood out back in my neighbors yard.  A few days ago it looked like it was snowing outside with all those annoying little fuzzys flying around.  I knew it was just a matter of time until my body started its reaction to it. UGH!!!

So I'm under the weather but still going strong! or at least trying to. While I need to rest...resting doesn't really happen in this house..well not very often that is.

I finished some Girlie Goodness Headbands our Double Decker's..seem to be one of the favorites that sell they will be available at our next event...that is if I don't sell them before hand.

A bouquet of Girlie Goodness...how fun!

And then I got this shot of Tyler after his treat...

Mr. Alex had found his thumb...not sure how happy I am about that I'm still battling the THUMB issue with McKenzie sometimes...Oh Well it's cute anyhow.

Hopefully I get better soon because blowing my nose every three seconds is for the birds!!! I don't have time for this I don't have time to be sick!
XOXO Suzanne

Accountability

When I was 28 I got re-baptized and I decided that I wanted to read the Bible from the beginning to the end.  Ok so now I am 33 and I am only in Isaiah.

The problem???

I should be way past Isaiah at this point and I've started re-reading it at least 4 times because I loose track or put down my bible and not read it period for a length of time.

When this happens I feel lost and empty that's how I know that God is real!

So here we go I am going to keep track of my reading through my blog and highlight some favorite scriptures that I find as I go along.

Isaiah 1:18
"Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow;though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."

Isaiah 7:9
If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.

Isiah 9:6
For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

I am at Isiah 29 now so I will post more scriptures as I find them.

A few shots of my big man Tyler...he's so cute.  It's not normal for me to get pics of him.  He is usually trying to get the camera out of my hands.

XOXO Suzanne

Girlie Goodness

Just a few pics of what we've started so far...so much more to come!!!

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We have so many ideas...there is so much more to share...coming soon :)

XOXO Suzanne Lay

Just some Sweetness

Some pics that I've taken over the past few days of my babies. 

So Sweet!!!

I LOVE THEM!!!

XOXO Suzanne

I want to be a BLOGGER!!!!

The first question is why?
my answer...I don't know :)

There are many blogs that I read and find inspiring...maybe I can inspire someone too.  Maybe someone out there might find what I have to say or my life for that fact interesting...and then maybe not...either way it dosent matter I'm just happy with where I am in life and just turning 33...that's not something that a lot of women out there can say at my age...I'm lucky and I know it!

The only time that I have to create anything these days is after the chaos at this house finally rests..aka bedtime.  I've been struggling last for a while now in trying to find time to have alone with God.  My biggest question lately to myself and to him is...am I doing what he wants me to do?

I came across the skit guys on you tube and listened to them for a while working on Girlie Goodness and prepping for our open house this weekend...and it hit me...I am doing what God wants me to do...at least I am pretty sure that I am.  Because what I am doing makes me happy.

As a little girl I had dreams...and as I grew up I had hopes and more dreams.
Honestly I have it all...everything that I wanted and I am more Thankful for that today and I ever was before.

My list
1. I started sewing at the age of 8 and decided then that I loved it and I wanted to be a designer. I am!!! here's my website http://www.suzannelay.com/ and now my little girl wants to be a designer like mommy..HOW COOL IS THAT!!! so I've started Girlie Goodness and she helps me with it here is our face book page.
Girlie Goodness by Suzanne Lay

2.  I wanted a college education and to be successful.  I got the college degree...I worked the fashion industry professionally and now I am working on my own I think the qualifies :)

3.  I wanted to get married!!! I met my husband the second day of college our sophomore year.  When I met him I was done :).  I don't call it love at first sight....I just knew that there was something that I had to have about him...I knew that he would be in my life in some way.

4.  I always wanted three kids!  I remember arguing about this with Rob when we first started to discuss the kid factor...he was worried about the "middle child syndrome".  We almost didn't have our third baby we were trying to take care of that when "tada" we were pregnant.

While I've stumbled a few times in my faith I know that God is with me he always has been.  Now I finally have that peace feeling that I'm doing the right thing.  He has given me everything that I ever wanted and I am so undeserving. 

So why blog...so that I can share it...my life.  No it's not all glitter and pearls.  In fact I probably have more days that I cry with my kids and try to maintain the chaos in our lives. But I love it and I wouldn't change it.  So here we go lets blog...welcome to our lives.. we're just Lay'in around... please if you think that this family of five is just laying around you're nuts!

XOXO
Suzanne

Gray Hairs...

Ok I'm 32 and I will admit that I have two or three gray hairs....Thankfully God had placed them on my head in places where they are hidden.

However.....

In looking at the past 48 hours I am expecting the "Skunk Stripe" any day now.

Why??

Because of this little joy of my life, my beautiful ray of sunshine...

I LOVE HER!!! I truly do but man...she has been pushing buttons like you wouldn't believe.  Anything that I say NO to her is response is YES.
And of course her little brother is just following right behind her so I'm getting the double dose of acting out that I normally get.

She's seven going on seventeen and I don't like it...but I do LOVE her.
and in the midst of our tiffs all I see is this...

my sweet baby my first baby blessing and I am so thankful for her...but today I am not thankful for her attitude.

I know it's the age and I know it's a phase..something that we and I must endure.

But..
I will stay in charge whether she likes it or not.  Because I know that if I don't I will pay for it later and so will she.

She might not like me today but my hope is that she will love me tomorrow.

As one of my closest friends put it this morning...I am her MOM not her Best Friend.  There is a difference.  As Mothers we have to make some hard decisions...they may not like the out come but we do it in the best interest for them and for their future.

She doesn't have to like me everyday of her life but she will respect me and later she will be thankful...I will compromise at times...but I will hold my ground..because I LOVE her.

XOXO Suzanne

Silence is Golden?

Have you ever heard this phrase?

I don't agree with it!

I can't tell you how many times over the past 7 to 8 weeks that I have wished for silence...just five minutes of it.  Being a new mom of three I just needed some time to reclaim my sanity.

I finally got a taste of silence for the past 24 hours. My mom took my two oldest for an overnight stay at Grandma and Grandpas.  I still had Alexander but he's not that fussy of a baby he's simple.  He's only upset when he needs to sleep, eat, or needs his pants changed.

So I pretty much had my SILENCE and I didn't like it.
Not at all..

I missed the pounding of their running feet...
I missed their laughter...
I missed their squeals...
I even missed the sound of their little bikes making circles on my kitchen floor.

I think I called to check on them a little to much but I couldn't help it.  They will be home in a few hours and I can't wait to hug them!

A mom needs a break from time to time...it makes you a better mom and I know that.  Having this break makes me realize that I need to have a little more patience with my babies...
that I need to let them be loud from time to time....
that I need to give a few more hugs and kisses...

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!

It's an amazing blessing to be a mommy...even in the hard times...and on the crazy days when I am sleep deprived and finding myself taking a few more deep breaths before exploding...I wouldn't change it or trade it for anything!

XOXO Suzanne

Getting Back to the CORE...back to the BASICS

This is another blog of more rambling...
Thoughts that I just want to get down... clear my head a little.

Do you know who you are?  Have you ever gotten to a point in your life where you have asked yourself this same question?

I have...many times...and I'm doing it again.
But on a different level this time...and it's ending with answers rather than more questions.

It's not just a question for myself but for my line as well.

When Suzanne Lay, LLC started in Spring 2009 it was from the idea of finding "balance" with in a chaotic life.  Which is where I was at the time, a new stay at home mom, a mom of two and starting up a business. 

However I was not the only designer in the STL area with this idea.  Once I found out about the other line I started to "rethink".   The next few seasons leaned more towards a chic, fun and flirty style.  But then again...there was a write up on a few of the designers in the STL area and I now sounded like another line and a different designer. 

I have nothing against these other designers they are all talented I just have a thing where I don't want to look like anyone else and I don't want to sound like anyone else.  This resulted in more "rethinking" and landed us in the funky, trendy, and sexy category. 

All these changes started to lead to confusion...for my line...but also for myself as my line is suppose to embody who I am.

I do feel that at each point of change my line did reflect my life in some way.  And within each collection I did create pieces that I loved.

But...

After having Alex I went into our closet to get rid of the Maternity clothing because we are done having babies.  The baby making phase of our lives has ended.  What started as a simple purge...resulted in a complete wardrobe overhaul.

When I was done...there wasn't much left.  I looked at what was on the bed...guess what..it was most of my "trendy" items.  I still had some trendy items hanging in front of me but not many.  What was mostly left hanging was "Casual" Pieces and "Tailored" pieces.  So I stared at them for a while...then I turned around. 

On the other side of our closet is my husbands clothes...first of all he encompasses more of the closet than I do..which makes no sense what so ever being that I am the "Fashion Designer".  But beyond that his style is conservative...and mine isn't really.  Deeper than that...he's my opposite.  Any one that knows us knows that we are complete opposites from our style in clothing to what we eat.  The true meaning of "opposites attract"...and while we are completely different on so many levels...be balance each other...and we thrive on each other.  I can't imagine my life without him!

Smiling I turned back around to stare at what was left once again and I realized what had been there the whole time...I'm not one or the other... I am both.  Just like Rob and I balance each other so do the items left in my closet.

I LOVE OPPOSITES!

So has the line taken another turn...not really.
It's just going back to the core...back to the basics..back to the essence of who I am.

And who is that?
I'm proof that opposites attract!

I'm not going to over think it anymore...I'm just going to do what I love.
I still want to dress women on the red carpet...but I also want to dress my best friends.

So what's next for Suzanne Lay, LLC?
Tailored and Casual
Hard and Soft
Structure and Draping
Country and ROCK

XOXO Suzanne

A Pro in the Making

I don't know what my babies will do when they grow up.

My prayer is that they have a Dream and that they never give up on it!

Tyler is signed up for Baseball this season.

He has his Cleats, Glove, and Baseball...he's ready to go!

He's got a pretty wicked arm and hit as well...I'm excited to see him play in the next few weeks :)

Who knows maybe we have a future leager on our hands..as long as he enjoys playing that's all I care about!

XOXO Suzanne

Random Thoughts.....

A few things that I have thought about today...

Why is it that I get the majority of my design ideas just as I am about to fall asleep?  What I've learned is that if I don't sketch them down right away I forget them entirely.

So last night I started sketching at about 9:00 pm with my 2.5 year old sleeping next to me and my newborn in the cradle.

As if I wasn't sleep deprived enough our little man was wide awake at 3:30 am and me taking his pic didn't help the situation but I couldn't help it he's just too darn cute!

I found myself a little drogue this morning when my other two babies climbed into bed with me, I think Rob returned from fellowship with the guys this morning to find me asleep with Alex and McKenzie and Tyler watching Disney on our TV.  I am sure that had to be a sight...and as we got the kiddos ready for church these two reminded me of a few things.

I've been quite the Debbie Downer lately not really motivated to do much of anything.  But how can I not strive to work harder or aim for my goals when I've got my babies relying on me?

So as they headed to church I stayed home with Alex I for some reason ended up watching CMT.  I found myself longing for home but not in a sad way. 

See...if you didn't know I am a Country Girl :)  I grew up with Cows..surrounded by pastures and fresh air.  We ran around riding four wheelers during the day and watched the stars at night..because you could actually see them.  Eating bacon and eggs...meat and potato's...I'm all for the DOWN HOME COOKIN'!

I haven't been home for a while...there is a reason for this..but that's another blog for another day.

I'm in this transitioning period and I'm just going with it...not sure where it is taking me and not really too worried about it at the moment.

About a week ago I went into my closet to purge my maternity clothes because I don't need them anymore...we are done having kiddos and I am dropping the weight..YEAH!

While I did remove the maternity clothes I also ended up removing more than half of my entire wardrobe.  Not something that I had planned on...just something that happened.

There isn't much left...but I learned something about myself and my (NEW) Style I guess we could call it that.  I've been treading water for a while not really sure the direction I wanted to go with my line.  It seems that once I think I have it figured out something throws me off.

Rob and I had a conversation a while ago...I had mentioned that one of our friends seemed to be really patriotic all of a sudden.  Not that she wasn't before but she was just more vocal about it now...and it made me happy.  Rob looked at me and said something along the lines of "We're in our 30's we're starting to come into our own".  That's been on my mind ever since.

I keep thinking about it because I'm kind of a "Go with the Flow" kind of girl...I kind of jump around here of there not really staying in the same place for a long time.  That's proven with my line there seems to be a different feel each season.

So in watching the County Music videos this morning I started to feel myself "coming into my own" a little bit.  Heading back to my roots in a way and it feels right. 

I know that God is working in me right now, I can feel it.

Like they always say... "You can take the girl out of the Country...But...You can't take the Country out of the girl".

I'm interested to see where this leads....

XOXO Suzanne

Over Thinking....

Do you do this?
I have come to realize that I do this WAY to much.
I over think to the point that it makes things difficult.
Difficult to the point that I can no longer make a decision because I get overwhelmed.
I really don't like living this way.
I over think how I want to decorate the house...which leads to why I (at times) hate interior decorating.  This should be fun right?
I worry if Rob will like it...unlike the majority of men/husbands out there mine does voice his opinion when it comes to decorating our home.
I worry if I will like it since I change my mind so much anyway.
And then of course....since I do most the creating of it I worry if it will turn out right/Look ok.

Am I annoying you yet?

On top of that I do the same thing with my line of clothing.
But whats messed up about this it that I worry about...
Who will wear it?
Who will like it?
Who will but it?
And I worry about those things so much that in the end sometimes...
I DON'T even like it!
Now that's messed up!

Yes I live a chaotic life chasing and caring for three babies...and my husband.
Yes I am a procrastinator and if I have time to do a project I seems to hold it off just to create stress and havoc.
I live for last minute projects
I live for that"under the pressure" feeling

I DID

But not anymore...This sleep deprived mommy longs for the simplicity in life now that I realize my life will only get crazier with each passing day.

I AM EXCITED ABOUT THIS!!!

I might actually plan ahead or get organized.
I think that might excite Rob.

I will stop over thinking what everyone else might THINK of me (well except for my husband...I want him to be happy too) and just start doing what I like. 

In the end I will be more sane :)...and hopefully and prayerfully others will enjoy my Home, my Line, my Style and  Me too.

OH and a little side note...I AM SICK OF THE SNOW AND ICE!!!!!

Spring just can not get here quick enough!

Here is a pic taken a year ago today...A dress that I was working on..I really did and STILL do love this dress :)

XOXO Suzanne

Question

Is it possible to feel on top of the world and sad at the same time?
I have an AMAZING little blessing in my life, he's perfect in every way!

Alexander James Lay

Born January 24, 2011 at 4:37 am

7lbs and 1 oz

20 inches long.

Alex is our little surprise and an answer to one of my life long prayers.
I always wanted three babies.  Rob was done with two.
We agreed that when Tyler turned two we would make that final decision.  Rob was standing his ground so I caved and agreed to let him get "The Surgery".  Only to find out two weeks after that appointment was made that I was pregnant.
As I tell this story it makes others laugh...but it reminds me just who really is in control of my life.

GOD does amazing things!!!

He blessed me with one more gift.

He gave me an AMAZING OB that took care of me through every week and despite my preterm issues he got me a full term baby.  While I didn't make it to his selected date he made it a priority to be there and deliver our baby.  With a wake up call at 2:00 am on Monday morning he met Rob and I at the hospital to find out that I was already 4-5 cm dilated and contractions were coming on fast and lasting longer...it was time to take the baby.  I was able to carry Alex to 37 weeks and 2 days.  The longest of all three of my babies.

Dr. Pearse Thank you will never be enough! You are an awesome man of God I feel truly blessed to know you.  I'm going to miss my daily/weekly visits with you.

Alex didn't want to come out.  They had to used suction to help with the efforts.  When Alex was delivered the doctors believe that he aspirated causing fluid in his lungs resulting in phenomena.  This ended up putting him in with the special needs babies and he is now on antibiotics.  His rapid breathing has slowed down but it still comes and goes.  He is taking his feedings very well in fact maybe too well.  He is now in a big boy bed and headed in the right direction to be on his way home.  We are hoping for Monday morning.

His brother and sister still have not seen him.
I have held him less than 10 times.
Rob has held him fewer times than I have.

WE MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!!

I've been through this before, I've had to leave my baby at the hospital and return home without him.
I've had to try to get "back to normal" with a part of me gone.
It's a horrible feeling, an empty feeling, a helpless feeling.
I find myself crying randomly, I see his face everywhere, I remember his movements inside of me and yet I can not touch him, or hold him.

So as I sit here and blog...
McKenzie is dancing along with the ice skaters on TV
Tyler is mimicking his sister...but with more bouncing
Rob is making dinner...bless him

Hopefully Alex will be with us within 48 hours...although that feels like a century from now.  It's not fast enough for any of us.

XOXO Suzanne Lay