Remembering.....

I tried to keep myself very busy today.
Doing random crafts for GK and trying to complete letter orders.
Christmas Music played in the back ground and I had some special time with my son Tyler.
I didn't go anywhere and I did that on purpose. 
Why??
Because today I am 29 weeks and 2 days into my final pregnancy.  Tyler was born at 29 weeks and 2 days.
It's a bittersweet moment...I am thankful that I am still pregnant and not experiencing any preterm labor symptoms...yet I am remembering everything that happened only a short time ago.
Tyler was born in the evening on the 4th of July to Bruce Springsteen's song BORN IN THE USA!!! a proud moment but a scary time.  A time of uncertainty and a time of fear.  Not knowing if the steroid shots that they gave me would help him breath not understanding just how small he would be or what our family would be going through much less experiencing in the days and weeks to come...so much fear.  But as I laid there and hearing his cry I remember thanking my God for his blessing and praying over and over for his help in giving Tyler the strength to get through every moment until he was strong enough to come home.
Tyler was born on the 4th of July 2008 at 8:42 pm.
Tyler weighed 3 lbs and 12 oz
Tyler was 16.5 inches long
He was very small..BUT..he was very strong!
He was our little miracle baby.  We do not know why I went into labor so early there were no infections no symptoms.  My body just decided to let him go.
Some of our little miracles with Tyler:
He was off oxygen within 24 hours and breathing on his own. 
He was sent from the South pod NICU (which is for babies that need extra attention) to the Elephant Pod in the North NICU in less than a week. 
He consistently put on weight, and grew each day
He was home in five weeks. 
That was the longest five weeks of my life.  But I visited him every day and stayed for as long and I possibly could each time.
Looking back this was one of the darkest, and saddest times of my life. 
It is the worst feeling to leave the hospital and not take your baby with you.  I can't tell you how many times I went in to visit him and saw the other mothers leaving with their babies - it was a gut wrenching feeling I wanted that to be us; I wanted him to come home with me and our family.  I knew that he was in the best place for him at that time but I just wished that we as a family didn't have to go through this.  It's not something that I would wish on anybody...it's heartbreaking!
Here are a few pics of Tyler...He was small...very small...but again...he was strong and our GOD was with him every moment then and still every moment now.  We are truly blessed for Tyler to have been born so early and have no developmental issues.  While we have had to see a few specialist doctors regarding is eyes and a cyst in his brain they have not effected him developmentally and they have not been associated to his preterm birth.
TYLER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

And so I am at a bitter sweet moment...remembering everything that we went through with Tyler at this exact point during my pregnancy with him...and at the same time THANKFUL that all the precautions that my OB is taking this time seem to be working for as of now I am still pregnant with my third child!!

XOXO Suzanne