Question

Is it possible to feel on top of the world and sad at the same time?
I have an AMAZING little blessing in my life, he's perfect in every way!

Alexander James Lay

Born January 24, 2011 at 4:37 am

7lbs and 1 oz

20 inches long.

Alex is our little surprise and an answer to one of my life long prayers.
I always wanted three babies.  Rob was done with two.
We agreed that when Tyler turned two we would make that final decision.  Rob was standing his ground so I caved and agreed to let him get "The Surgery".  Only to find out two weeks after that appointment was made that I was pregnant.
As I tell this story it makes others laugh...but it reminds me just who really is in control of my life.

GOD does amazing things!!!

He blessed me with one more gift.

He gave me an AMAZING OB that took care of me through every week and despite my preterm issues he got me a full term baby.  While I didn't make it to his selected date he made it a priority to be there and deliver our baby.  With a wake up call at 2:00 am on Monday morning he met Rob and I at the hospital to find out that I was already 4-5 cm dilated and contractions were coming on fast and lasting longer...it was time to take the baby.  I was able to carry Alex to 37 weeks and 2 days.  The longest of all three of my babies.

Dr. Pearse Thank you will never be enough! You are an awesome man of God I feel truly blessed to know you.  I'm going to miss my daily/weekly visits with you.

Alex didn't want to come out.  They had to used suction to help with the efforts.  When Alex was delivered the doctors believe that he aspirated causing fluid in his lungs resulting in phenomena.  This ended up putting him in with the special needs babies and he is now on antibiotics.  His rapid breathing has slowed down but it still comes and goes.  He is taking his feedings very well in fact maybe too well.  He is now in a big boy bed and headed in the right direction to be on his way home.  We are hoping for Monday morning.

His brother and sister still have not seen him.
I have held him less than 10 times.
Rob has held him fewer times than I have.

WE MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!!

I've been through this before, I've had to leave my baby at the hospital and return home without him.
I've had to try to get "back to normal" with a part of me gone.
It's a horrible feeling, an empty feeling, a helpless feeling.
I find myself crying randomly, I see his face everywhere, I remember his movements inside of me and yet I can not touch him, or hold him.

So as I sit here and blog...
McKenzie is dancing along with the ice skaters on TV
Tyler is mimicking his sister...but with more bouncing
Rob is making dinner...bless him

Hopefully Alex will be with us within 48 hours...although that feels like a century from now.  It's not fast enough for any of us.

XOXO Suzanne Lay

To Preserve Children

I was scanning through an older cook book when I came across something ADORABLE today.

My elementary school use to make cook books every year as fund raisers...all the parents would send in their favorite recipes and then it would all be hand typed and bound in a plastic binder for purchase.  So tonight as I was scanning through the Two Mile Prairie Cooking with Digger November 1981 edition (I was in kindergarten at that time...and I feel totally old announcing that to you at this moment) I came across this in the Cakes and Frosting section.

Take one large grassy field, 1/2 dozen children, all sizes, 3 small dogs, 1 long narrow strip of brook, pebbly, if possible.  Mix the children with the dogs and empty them into the field, stirring continually, sprinkle with field flowers, pour brook gently over pebbles, cover all with a deep blue sky and bake in a hot sun.  When the children are well-browned, they may be removed.  Will be found right and ready for setting away to cool in the bathtub.

Is that not the cutest thing ever!?!

It just touches me...especially at this time of year when the house seems so flooded with toys and movies and games...things that just seem to be needed to keep our children occupied but really aren't.  Now I just want it to be sunny and warm so I can get the kids outside so that they can play and run-a-muck with no worries.

Life seemed so much more simpler back then...why has everything seemed to be so complicated today?

For instance we sold cook books for fundraisers.  McKenzie's school sells socks? and not just regular socks...these are very odd and in a way kind of scary socks and no one buys them. 

It's too complicated!!!

Why can't we go back to being simple like cook books?  But I guess if I am going to gripe I better go and join the PTO :) and that is so not up my alley.

I will however take more time To Preserve My Children.

I'm going to scan the rest of my cook book and see if I can find any other little inserts like this I loved it...I think I read it four or five times before I came down to share it here....it's just too sweet.

XOXO - Suzanne Lay

Happy New Years!

I wanted to look back into the past year...so much has happened and yet with the New Year there is still so much more to come.  Here's some pics from 2010 in the Lay household.  I think that it's amazing how much the kids have grown, and how much our family has done in such a short period of time.  Seems like 2010 went by way too fast!

So here's to a NEW YEAR...I know that there is so much coming our way!
Do you ever just have that feeling that change is just around the corner and it's not just the baby...seems like there will be more.  Growing for us as a family, growing for us individually, changes...in a way it's exciting and in a way it terrifies me.  I like my comfort zone.  But I also know that in order to become a better person, a better wife, a better mom I need to embrace what ever it is that God is bringing towards me...to embrace that feeling of change and to trust in him to give me the courage to step through that open door.
Best wishes to your family from ours...may your New Year be full of wonderful blessings!
XOXO - Suzanne Lay

Holiday 2010 Break Day #1

Well...I'd like to say that today went off with a BANG!!!
but it didn't.

Our day didn't officially start really till about 10:00 am.  NO i didn't sleep in till 10 am. 

I WISH!!!

My children are up at the crack of dawn...they must get it from my dad because he is the only man that I know of, of anyone in our family that does the same thing.  I mean no later than 7:20 am and that's if I am lucky!
The worst of it was that I didn't sleep well last night.  This little babe inside me was going nuts and with the heartburn and acid reflux I was up and down till about 12:00 am and sick twice...NO FUN AT ALL!!!
I did however have a few things that I wanted to get done today...a few things around the house, a craft with the kids, some ETSY Shipping, and hopefully later on a little sewing and last min Christmas wrapping if I am lucky.

The best part of our HOLIDAY  is that we all get to be together and I guess that can be good or bad.  Rob did have to work today but he worked from home.  He is now off for the next week and a half so it's all four of us...kind of bitter sweet....it will be the last time that it's just the four of us.

So here was our craft for the day.  Some little felted wreath ornaments.  I got the idea from the Whatever Blog.  It's one of my favorites...actually Rob  has indicated more than once hat I stock all the blogs on my side bar.  I think that is a little creepy sounding...I just love them though.  They make life loo so much prettier/happier/simpler than it really is sometimes.  AND for this stay at home mom it's kind of a mind getaway that's needed every once in a while...maybe daily :)...but no..I do not stalk them...just admire them I guess :)

I've learned that SNACK must come with the craft at our house... it seems to be the only way.

 A bunch of felt pieces 1"x1" squares..I suggest doing this ahead of time so that the kiddos aren't constantly asking what you are doing like mine did...it takes a little bit to cut all these little things :)
 String the felt onto DMC floss with a needle we used doll making needles the tips are sharp enough to go through the felt but not too sharp for the kiddos if they accidentally stick themselves and they are really long so you can stack a few on the needle and then pull it through.

 Me and Tyler this lasted all of a few min before he was down and gone.

 Tyler's pic while he was playing with the camera..I felt obligated to add it :)

The end result

 I ended up finishing all of them Tyler was done way early and that was to be expected.  McKenzie just wasn't in the mood.  I think they turned out pretty cute and now we have a few more decorations for our Christmas Tree.

 And to be quite honest nothing ends the afternoon any better than some snuggle time with Daddy!!!
Hopefully tomorrow will go a little better..we'll see
XOXO Suzanne Lay

MUST HAVE!!!!

So I just went to my ETSY account to check on orders and I saw this on the main page!

Something that I live by an absolute must for my journey to HAPPINESS
and I just have to have ASAP!!!!
I LOVE IT!!!!
Here is the ETSY shop where you can get one too she is so talented I just adore her work!

ALSO.....
I am having an ETSY sale use this code and get 25% off everything in the store...trying to clear out a few things :)   HOLIDAYSALE2010

XOXO Suzanne Lay

First Snow

We woke up this morning to a pretty Winter Wonderland!

I think that snow is peaceful...and I love to watch it fall.  It has this majestic, serene beauty to it.
But to be honest
I hate to be cold!!!
Despite that...when Rob headed out to shovel the drive way and the walk way we decided to let the kiddos enjoy the winters first snow fall of the year.  We dressed them in layers and headed out, it wasn't horrible except for when the wind kicked up.
Sharing a few photos....

I'm just trying to soak up as much time with my family as I can.  Our third baby could arrive at any time in the next 6 to 7 weeks. 
I still find it amazing that I am pregnant again, and I often find myself lost in the idea of how I will be able to manage a family of five and hold down my business.
I am SO THANKFUL that the Lord made me a Multi Tasker, this is where I find the first light of hope that I will be able to start the path on this next journey.

Here are a few projects that I finished up by the end of the week...

 All the letters have sold!!! and I just go a call today to make a few more :)

The hair accessories that I have been working on for a while now...they are all up loaded to my ETSY SHOP check them out when you get a chance!

XOXO
Suzanne Lay

Baby I's Cold Outside....

In St. Louis it is VERY cold outside!!!

Today I wanted to finish two of the things on my TO DO list.

It started with getting Tyler a new coat this season it came with a hat and gloves...only the hat did not fit! The first time I put it on him he would not let me take it off and I kind of freaked out.  I was thinking..."We can't leave"....there is no way because on it (the hat) looks like a Yumika (sp? a jewish cap).

Lets face it...those of you who know us...Tyler has a huge mellon...it's off the charts we all know this.  So finding a hat for him is quite the task.  Basically if it fits me...then it will fit him.  We have the same size head...  Yes a 2.5 year old and a 32 year old have the same size head it's crazy.

So...I decided to make him a new hat instead of struggling to find one that would work at the store.  I think it turned out cute!

And of course if I make something for Tyler I need to make something for McKenzie...that's just how I roll...it's only fair.





I'm not a big fan of hats for McKenzie not that they don't look cute on her...but they smash her curls and that drives me a little nuts!

I think they turned out ADORABLE!!! Both made of super soft Fleece and lined with Flannel.  Which makes them super cozy and will keep them warm cuz Baby It's Cold Outside!!!

XOXO Suzanne